"THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER"

[Bob259]

"THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER"

This one is a little different...... Two Different Versions with Two Different Morals

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OLD VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.


Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.


The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.


MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

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THE MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.


The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.


Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.


CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.


America is stunned by the sharp contrast!


How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?


Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...'


ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We Shall Overcome." Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.


President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.


Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.


Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Ant- Grasshopper Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.


The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government's Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.


The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.


The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.


The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize and ramshackle the previously prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.


The entire Nation then collapses, bringing the rest of the free world with it.


MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

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I've sent this to you because I believe that you are an ant and not a grasshopper! Make sure that you pass this on to other ants. Don't bother sending it on to any grasshoppers because they wouldn't understand it, anyway.

[BCloninger]

Kermit would eat the grasshopper to get himself through the winter - problem solved. Then the Ant would hire lobbyists and get legislation to bailout his business (which was heavily leveraged in the sub-prime market), collect a percentage of the bailout funds as a brokerage fee for arranging the deal, congratulate himself on saving the economy, and collect a bonus (per employment contract.)

At the same time, Grasshoppers' widow was been evicted (they bought a house they couldn't afford, and then, predictably, defaulted when their adjustable rate mortgage adjusted up.) All would have been well, but Grasshopper had bought a life insurance policy from one of Ants' shell companies that went bust when Credit Default Options (CDO's) tanked.

This happened at the same time Ms. Grasshopper lost her job at the appliance factory factory because that line was moved to Mexico (thanks, NAFTA.) She signs up for food stamps, but then is too ashamed to use them at the grocery store. She starts back to school using TAA (Trade Adjustment Assistance), but really struggles with the track they put her in, and worries there may not be job when she does graduate. She begins working part time for cash, since TAA prohibits working, but barely has enough to get by. It feels like another ovarian cyst is developing, but without insurance (TAA doesn't provide for that) she can't afford to see a doctor.

Since Ant is also a board member of Big Appliance, Inc., he collects a bonus when - thanks to cheaper labor in Mexico - Big Appliance, Inc., posts record profits. A percentage of these are used to hire lobbyists and support politicians to keep tax rates down. Ant bitterly resents Obamacare and welfare free-loaders. They just need to get a job.

[Jason]

Wow, Bob. I'm usually fairly middle-of-the-road being more Libertarian than Republican. That was a big load of BS, though.

[BCloninger]

Wow, Bob. I'm usually fairly middle-of-the-road being more Libertarian than Republican. That was a big load of BS, though.

Ya' think? I know all of the people in that load of BS. Ms. Grasshopper was at least smart enough to downsize before it actually turned into a foreclosure. They've handled it pretty well. Mr. Ant has some pretty special posts on Facebook, and some terrific email material. Seriously pissed.

[Jason]

Really? You know someone who got eaten by a frog?

One of the core beliefs that I have is that everyone should take responsibility for their own decisions. Therefore, my sympathy for people who bought more house than they can afford is basically zero. Being "too ashamed" to use assistance means that the assistance isn't needed badly enough. Worry about a job not being there is a worry that everyone has when they're in school, even me when I was in computer engineering in college (that I paid my own way through). I live well enough now to afford a couple nice silhouette rifles, and my family has more than I did growing up, which was true for my parents also. My grandparents were seriously poor, well below what is loosely called the "poverty line" now. My parents weren't quite as poor, but we didn't have much extra growing up. I remember eating very cheaply during times when an unexpected expense like a car repair (which was mostly parts, as we had cheap cars that could be worked on since paying a mechanic was considered a "luxury") popped up, but we always ate. My parents managed every penny without any sort of public assistance. I've been looking down the barrel of a layoff twice in the last couple of years. I had the talk with my family about what that would mean and make sure they understood how we were making sure we could make it through something like that. I think having very little at time gives me a perspective that's helpful. Having to do things like trade out work to someone else on nights/weekends because you can't afford to pay sucks, but it's not the end of the world.

In your own example, I see two types of public assistance, both of which Ms. Ant is taking advantage of. Maybe she should concentrate more on being thankful that the job training is there instead of concentrating on worrying that a job won't be there. If it's that big a worry, then why did she choose to learn that skill? Maybe Mr. and Ms. Grasshopper should have put more away instead of buying so much house. I'm guessing that there was probably cable TV, a fairly new car or two, and a lot of other expenses thrown in there, too. I don't say this to be callous to Ms. Ant's current situation. I'm sure it's actually as bad as you say it is. I'm saying that holding hands and singing "we shall overcome" isn't going to be nearly as effective at fixing the problem as more planning and preparation ahead of time would have been. I say this because I'm really, really tired of the mentality that everyone should be guaranteed a comfortable life where everything's easy and no one has to actually put thought and effort into making sure they'll have a roof over their heads and food on their tables. Your example sounds a whole lot like Ms. Ant's mindset is more "how can social programs get me through this with no embarassment?" instead of "how can I get through this?" to me.

I agree that the bailouts are BS. If the business couldn't stay afloat on its own, it should go under or get bought out by someone who can run it in the black. There's that responsibility thing again, and it goes for businesses as well as individuals. I agree with Mr. Ant that I bitterly oppose Obamacare and I think welfare freeloaders need to get jobs, or at least have to work community service in return for their welfare checks, though. Of course, I chose a job making significantly less money that had great health insurance benefits because I have a family and it was the responsible thing to do, so you shouldn't be surprised.

In summary, I definitely still believe it's a pile of BS. For every sob story anecdote you can post, I can post a dozen about people abusing social programs. The plural of anecdote is not data, though, so I'll hold off on that.

[Bob259]

Bob, you have out done yourself!!!!

Tell me the truth... did you dream all that up today, or have you had it in waiting

[BCloninger]

Bob, it's in front of me every day. I know you guys will see it all differently, though, and I sure won't try to change your minds. It would frustrate me and annoy (entertain?) you. I could share stories about stupid student and greedy universities, too, but maybe later. It's the end of the semester and I'm too easily provoked into a rant in any direction.

Every character in my version of the story has a real world parallel, and none of them are blameless. In some cases, losing their production line job is the best thing that could have happened to them, and in others, well, honestly, they can't do much else. There's very little chance of successfully retraining them. Bluntly, they're unfit for much else, we don't want them bored and making babies, and eugenics is a touchy subject. (Wanna go right wing? I can go waaay to the right.)

Oh, and Kermit in this story was a well connected, drunk attorney.